I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
