i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I need to sanitize my soul.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
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