You just made me feel so damn special
i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Boobs speak an international language.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Holy sore nipples Batman
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
