Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
17 year olds will be the death of me.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Randomize
