The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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