By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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