I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
