Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Randomize
