I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
i came on her dog
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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