We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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