whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I'm like, not good at living.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
