Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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