Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
just woke up in my car, in front of the bar. Took me 10 minutes to find my keys which were about 10 yards away in a bush. According to my phone records, I called my ex 14 times last night. Breakfast?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
