It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
Randomize
