Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
I had the good sense not to tell her that my summer goal is to get fucked by a med student while wearing a party dress and sparkly shoes
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
Randomize
