I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
Randomize
