that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Can I color on your dick again?
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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