my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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