Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
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