I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
You are the jesus of drinking
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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