Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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