I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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