Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
