His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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