I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Randomize
