his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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