If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
