Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize
