You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
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