you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
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