The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Enjoy the penises
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
