I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
