his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
