Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
We are all done wearing pants today
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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