Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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