I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
