I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Randomize
