yo i have your phone
... oh so you probably won't get this message
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
