He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
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