I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
It's that time of the week again where I begin to ponder life's great questions like, "What will my pathetic excuse for a future look like?" and "Why tacos?"
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Randomize
