My Higher Power is John Stamos
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
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