Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
