I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Randomize
