hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
oh god the rape fog is back!
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Don't EVER smell your tampon
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
