dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
