Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
Randomize
