??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
