Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
