Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
