Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
two words: eviction party
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
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